It's impossible to escape the pressure that society puts onto us to look a certain way. Even as our culture adapts and widens its scope for standards of beauty…there are still standards of beauty. There are the obvious culprits: weight, clear skin, curves in only the right places and nowhere else. Given a good Dove commercial, sense of humor, and Tumblr feed, we're empowered to put on a crop top without a six pack, slap some glitter on our pimples, and give the patriarchy the finger. But it doesn't always feel that way outside of the Internet, outside of our houses, inside our minds. We all have insecurities, real or imagined, and no matter how many times we're told we're “beautiful inside and out," sometimes it helps to talk about it when we feel like we aren’t.
We want to thank you for writing to us truthfully about your deepest insecurities, and hope that when you read these you know in the best way that you aren’t alone!
I’m insecure about the look, scent and taste of my female parts. As a consequence, I have some difficulties enjoying oral sex, because of thinking, how the person busying himself down there will perceive it.
I'm convinced that the whites don't think I'm really a person.
I have a love/hate relationship with my hair. It's curly and wavy and unruly and the curls never go in the same direction and when it's hot out my hair is frizz city. When I was young and used to brush it (because I wanted it to look like the Olsen twins' hair) and my head became a big bushy triangle.
I have started getting much stronger forehead wrinkles, literally from years of raising my eyebrows at people skeptically. I am hating how it appears in photos so I am trying to smile and not raise my eyebrows and omfg it makes me look so old.
I'm insecure about my body – I feel simultaneously too much and not enough; not "thick in all the right places." Too much stomach, not enough lady curves.
When I'm in in private, I think I look great… when I go out in public I become insecure.
My small ass fingers. Wtf? I'm 6 foot. My palms are normal size but nope, I get the small digits. I see you! Stop looking at them!
My looks– everything ranging from my skin, to my facial features, to the build of my body. The thing is, I know I'm not that bad…I've been complimented on my looks before. However, I cannot help but compare myself to others on a constant basis. I just ooze insecurity any time I see someone skinnier, with clearer skin, bigger boobs, better clothes, you name it. I'm always afraid of being the fattest, ugliest, grossest girl in the room and everyone being well aware of it.
I laugh a lot. I don't feel self-conscious while I'm doing it, but when I see pictures of myself laughing I get insecure about how squinty my eyes get and how flushed I am and how wide open my mouth is. Which is a shame because laughing is the best.
I know a lot of women who have what I think of as "perfect bodies". They're tall and slim, and have boobs that don't need extra huge bras, and they always, always look beautiful and stylish. I see their photos on social media and go into a small hate spiral. I desire their bodies as my own. I don't want to be this person: the person who hates their own body, who doesn't find herself sexy or beautiful. But, sometimes I feel so, so stuck.
It's worth so much more just to accept myself, be grateful for how healthy I am, and thank my body for all I can do with it. I can do so much with my wonderful, healthy body.
I'm insecure about forehead zits so massive they resemble third eyes. The kind of blemish where you look in the mirror and all you can see is a huge cyst in the middle of your face. Sometimes it's so bad make-up won't even cover up the spots. Days like those, I wish I could use a sick day to stay home from work and hide from all humanity.
I feel so insecure about taking photos. I wish I was more photogenic… mainly for Instagram.
I was bullied by classmates since I was 12 or 13. I really came into my own and stopped caring but now that I am 25 years old and my parents want me to get married and are always telling me to lose weight, the insecurities are building up again.
Society keeps telling me that curvy is in, and men don't like bones, dogs do.
I feel like I'm not masculine enough, especially when I wear tight fitting clothes. I feel like people stereotype me as the "unfit guy."